As parents, we shouldn’t shy away from the uncomfortable space where growth actually happens for our kids. Many parents hate it when I say this, but sometimes, tears are inevitable on the way to success.
On this week’s Future of Education episode, I sit down with Alpha guide Carrington to discuss the reality of coaching young kids through the process of developing grit. We talk about being a “weight spotter” for your kid’s resilience, the power of confidence anchors, and why the path to grit often starts with a meltdown.
I’ve shared six of the best takeaways from the episode for you below. And as always, if you enjoy reading or listening, make sure to like, subscribe, or send this essay to someone who needs to stop babying their kids.
6 takeaways from the episode
1. Grit is a muscle, not a personality trait. Stop asking whether your kid has grit. Start asking if you’re helping them develop it. Because just like a muscle, anyone can build grit.
2. Start so small it feels silly. What does grit even look like in kindergarten? Carrington describes our workshop “Pedal Power,” where our five- and six-year-old students must bike five miles without stopping. On day one, some students can’t even fathom accomplishing that. So Carrington starts simple: “All you have to do today is put on your helmet and spend 10 minutes with your hands on the bike.” Most parents trying to build grit overshoot wildly (”just ride the bike, you’ll figure it out”), but the best method is micro-progress.
3. You can’t motivate a kid you don’t know. The “right way” to teach grit requires knowing what this specific kid needs. This is why, for Alpha’s younger students, we have a guide-to-student ratio of 1:5. So every kid gets the attention they need.
4. Don’t catch your kid’s panic. From Carrington: “When a kid is having a hard time, our instinct is to take on that emotion.” We need to refuse the emotional contagion of our kid’s struggle and stay regulated, steady, even laughing. Don’t feed the idea that they can’t do it.
5. When building grit, confidence is currency. Every hard thing your kid finishes becomes a deposit they can withdraw from later. “Remember when you couldn’t even keep the helmet on for 10 minutes? And now look at you.” Your goal is to help your kid’s grit compound instead of resetting at every challenge.
6. Failure is fuel. Alpha students hit a literal fail button when they mess up, and the whole class cheers. Celebrating failure can’t just be a vibe; it needs to be a system that’s ritualized into the day. Stop treating failure as something to prevent, fix, or move past quickly. Teach your kid to celebrate it. Every failure is one step closer to success.
This episode is full of awesome real-life examples from Alpha School, so make sure to give the full episode a listen.
