Things Parents Wish Were True…But Aren’t

At first glance, Alpha School gets a lot of haters. And I get it: anything that deviates from traditional school can feel suspicious, even dangerous.

After all, school is more than a system. It’s a shared memory. We all carry a mental model of what school was, is, and should be in our own minds.

But to be honest, many Alpha haters are living in what I like to call “Parent Fantasy Land.”

Parent Fantasy Land is that mystical, magical world where school is hyper-romanticized. Where kids read algebra textbooks for fun. Where their favorite author is *actually* Shakespeare. Where they will never use a screen in their life.

 

Does that kid exist? Sure. But they’re the exception, not the rule. We all know that’s not the case for the average student. It’s important we make that distinction, because designing an education system for unicorns leaves the majority of kids behind.

So let’s talk honestly about the things parents wish were true about school…but aren’t.

1. “Schools make kids INTRINSICALLY MOTIVATED.”

But that’s just not reality.

You know it, and I know it.

If you’re one of those people who believes every kid should only be intrinsically motivated, then you’re neglecting the vast majority of kids who are not intrinsically motivated. And what are we supposed to do with them — kick them to the curb?

That’s pretty much what traditional schools do.

When a kid’s not doing well academically in a traditional school environment, it’s usually considered the kid’s fault. It means they’re either not the sharpest knife in the drawer, or they’re not willing to put the time in.

Let me show you what we do at Alpha School to flip the narrative.

First, we believe motivation is 90% of a great learning experience. The other 10% is personalized learning — learning that meets kids where they’re at, that happens at their own pace. But the truth is, if you don’t have a motivated learner, you’re up the creek. It doesn’t matter how “personalized” their learning may be. If a student isn’t motivated to learn, they won’t learn. Period.

So, if a student isn’t performing well academically at Alpha, we consider that our problem to fix. Because that means we’re not motivating them in the right way.

This is where we bring in extrinsic motivation. We literally have a spreadsheet of every single student where our guides have written things like:

• “This student loves words of affirmation.”

• “This student loves one-on-one time.”

• “This kid loves gifts.”

• “This kid loves earning independence.”

We also offer cash incentives for Alpha students. Yup: cold, hard cash. Alpha’s haters love this one:

“Paying kids is bad! You’re setting them up for a rewards-based learning environment and you’re ruining their actual desire to learn. Let kids be kids.”

I actually do appreciate this pushback, because it means parents are thinking critically about their kid’s education. Yes! Love that! Keep doing that! But here’s where the difference comes in.

At Alpha, we’re willing to use extrinsic motivation in order to get kids to work on something. As kids start doing the work and putting the time in, they begin to see success. They start building competence. And pretty soon, they realize: “‘Wow, I can make progress. I can achieve things. I’m actually pretty good at this.” And that realization switches on (you guessed it) intrinsic motivation. It’s a tool, not a permanent replacement. Plus, we get to teach kids financial literacy and help them learn how to manage real money from a young age. It’s a win-win.

Ultimately, what we’re trying to do is create self-driven learners: students who understand, “I am in control of my education, and I can be in the driver’s seat.”

 

Your kid may not be super self-motivated, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean they’re a lost cause. Just because they don’t have intrinsic motivation doesn’t mean they won’t develop it. You just have to get creative on figuring out how to unleash it. For kids who need that motivation fire stoked in them, extrinsic can be a great tool to spark intrinsic.

And finally, let’s just call it like it is. You and I both work for a paycheck. That’s not a bad thing. The world runs on extrinsic motivation. And kids spend 13 years of their lives in a school career.

Is it really such a terrible thing for them to be compensated?

2. “Kids LOVE to study Shakespeare and the classics.”

I told her the truth: we expose students to classic literature, but we don’t center our curriculum around it.

She was horrified. She kept pushing the importance of learning and discussing Shakespeare.

Finally, I said, “Wow, you really love Shakespeare, huh?”

She wrinkled her nose.

“Oh no,” she said. “I never liked reading Shakespeare. I always thought it was so boring.”

Hm. Interesting.

Many of us have misremembered, romanticized memories of sitting in English class, just like in Dead Poet’s Society: kids standing on desks, “O Captain My Captain!” and all that.

But the reality is that most of us were bored out of our minds. Many kids learned to associate reading with boredom — and never came back.

Instead of Dead Poet’s Society, most class discussions were more like: “Bueller… Bueller….“ (Fun fact: my daughter’s name is Sloane, inspired by Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.)

The point is, kids enjoy reading when they can read what they love.

For some kids, that might actually be Shakespeare. But for the vast majority, it’s not. I wonder how many kids we’ve “lost” to the love of reading because we forced them to read material they didn’t find interesting. (Too many!)

Here’s how we handle that at Alpha.

We follow the philosophy: read what you love until you love to read.

We do expose our students to classic literature, and we absolutely give them more opportunities to dive deeper into any literature that sparks their interest.

 

For example, my oldest daughter (who started at Alpha in the 3rd grade) totally fell in love with Shakespeare in high school. She dove in headfirst, reading more and more. But what we don’t do is push an entire curriculum of Shakespeare or Beowulf or whatever literature we deem critical even though most of us secretly hated it.

Not every single kid loves Shakespeare in the seventh grade. And that’s okay. They can still become a great writer and avid reader without being forced to read something they find stuffy and boring.

3. “Kids aren’t using screens. Schools have them use PEN AND PAPER.”

First, there are two kinds of screen time: good screen time and bad screen time.

Just look at how you’re reading this essay. On your phone? Your laptop? I’m not accusing you — I’m affirming how you’re using your screen time. Instead of doom-scrolling Instagram Reels, you’re growing your knowledge about your kid’s education so you can be the best parent possible. That’s a pretty good use of screen time if you ask me.

The same can be true for our children.

Receiving one-to-one, personalized, mastery-based learning that helps kids learn at exactly the pace they need, at the level they need, with auditory and visual support — that is a fantastic way to utilize screen time.

Second, screen time isn’t going anywhere.

I’m not advocating for handing every kid an iPad, but I do believe we have a responsibility as adults to show kids how to use screens the right way. I strongly believe that trying to “protect” our kids (i.e. never letting them touch a screen) will end up harming them in the long run.

Third, your kid is already clocking hours of screen time at their traditional school, whether you know about it or not.

In fact, the average amount of screen time happening in traditional schools today is more than what we do at Alpha, which is two hours.

Yes, you read that right: our “AI dystopian schools” actually have less screen time than a traditional school. With way better results.

Fourth, chatbots have no place in the classroom.

This is the real reason many parents are anti-screen — because they are anti-ChatGPT. They’re afraid their kids are going to use chatbots to cheat their way through school. And they’re exactly right. Chatbots are cheatbots. Period.

However, when AI is used correctly, it can give kids superpowers.

Alpha often gets press as “the AI school,” which is fine. Cool. Great. We love AI. But not the kind of AI you’re probably thinking about. We do not use a GPT as part of our learning platform. We do not have a chatbot that kids interact with.

At Alpha, our AI tutor is not in the foreground. It’s in the background, the underlying personalized learning platform that develops lessons according to level and pace. It measures how well a student is learning, how quickly they’re learning, and fills any knowledge gaps.

 

At the end of the day, digitizing the traditional school day is the worst possible use of screen time. It’s still one-size-fits-all education, just now on a screen. Which makes it even worse!

Instead, let’s use screens to give kids a one-to-one, personalized, mastery-based learning experience. In doing so, we can help kids become creators and contributors, not just consumers or instant gratification monkeys.

This will allow us to help kids harness technology so it gives them power, instead of making them a slave to it.

4. “I went to traditional school and I TURNED OUT FINE. So the system must work.”

Sheesh.

Sure, the system “works.”

But is “fine” the greatest aspiration you have for your kids?

I myself went to traditional school and yes, look, I turned out fine — but do we really want our kids to turn out “fine?”

What about excellent? What about extraordinary?

Even though I was good at school, I never liked it. It didn’t give me the opportunity to explore what I was interested in or good at. Once I graduated, I was out. I never wanted to set foot back in my high school. I don’t want this experience for my daughters. I don’t want this experience for anybody’s kids.

This is why Alpha’s first commitment is that our students love school.

And it’s not an aspiration, it’s reality. I see it with my own eyes. Alpha students truly love school. For instance, our students literally voted to keep school open for the summer because they wanted to keep working on their projects. Could you imagine voting for that when you were in school? I know I wouldn’t.

School should do more than “work” for our kids. It should be the best part of their day.

But in order for that to happen, it requires parents to ask questions, demand more, and get uncomfortable.

Parent Fantasy Land isn’t really about incentives, Shakespeare, or screens. It’s about fear. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of abandoning the familiar. Fear that if we let go of the school we recognize, we’ll somehow fail our kids.

But clinging to Parent Fantasy Land doesn’t actually serve our kids. It just preserves our own nostalgia.

The world your kids are growing up rewards agency, ambition, curiosity, and the belief that learning is something you do with joy, not something done to you.

So, are you choosing your kid’s school out of fear?

Or are you brave enough to let go of Parent Fantasy Land and choose a path that blows “fine” out of the water?

 

send this to a parent who needs to escape Parent Fantasy Land ASAP.